...Everywhere we go
People wanna know,
Where we're from,

We're from Belgium,
Pretty pretty Belgium...

Salute,

Last week I had field-simulation training "step 2". With being sick, I can tell, I Freaking MADE IT!
Serious, totally hit it, as the ONLY girl!

I got a very good evaluation, and max scores on personal character-determination!
Yep that feels good tho!

So what was the material like?

> Day 1;
Building the campsite, setting up and determine perimeters, camo yourself and camp,
SPOILER; some in our platoon had smuggled ciggy's! And ofcourse they were caught, so we had to run, keep on running, with weapon and a freaking heat... just as long all ciggy's were smoked!!! You can imagine how long that run took!!!!
But I made it, the other two girls were.. hmm, very far behind...walking, moaning.

Night Exercise: Walking South
We got dropped in the middle of the forrest, one by one, yep INDIVIDUAL, with a compass and NO map nor light. Our orders were, get back to basecamp, without being seen, basecamp is direction south...
Serious cool exercise! Scary? NO! It was freaking awesome. On my way I saw some of my platoonmates, but the 'guards' were everywhere, so you couldnt talk to eachother.
When some of us were laying lined up, before a tank-sandtrackroad, a couple were caught.. but not me, I was laying totally covered in the bush.. (and wondering what was beneath my body, earthworms?? serious I had to keep focus)
While the CO who just caught the others, turned around, showed his back,  I got up, running over the track and jumped into some other bush..

I have serious hurt myself a couple of times: 1. I felt in a ditch what was deeper/higher then my bodylength, for some moment I couldnt feel my legs anymore. 2. I felt into some bushes with freaking thorns! They were all in my ass and between my legs.. Serious painfull... My CO wanted to take them out for me.. yea you know what I mean.. 0_o
I still have their prints in my ass! 

The last obstacle was when you approached basecamp, security lights, but the thing was, I could crawl beneath the light beams.. so being small can be very handy sometimes..

I came in as 3rd!!! In less then 2.5hours!

And then we got a bit of sleep, with ofcourse nightwatch duty... hmm

> Day 2

My meds didnt kicked in very well, so I was shaking and puking over the terrain. But there was no time of feeling sick. Again they had mindgames for the 3rd freaking time we had to pack in our tents and bagpags, and rebuild our tents, packing in our tents, rebuilding our tents..and so on..
Then it was time for some tactics, in small groups, bush patrol, intervene/shoot when a target appears, but be aware of friendly folks and civilians! It was very awesome, but difficult, I didnt killed any civilian but killed myself, when I gave once a slow reaction and forgot in all panic that my safety was still on..arggg

During this exercise one of my buddies got hurt, under defense when his shoulder got dislocated..so he is out! Poor boy!

In afternoon we had to build shootingposts, guardposts..pretty lame and boring! My ditch was pathetic, It took me over 40 min in the hot sun to digg it, and then freaking hell I spot a huge sharp treetrunk.. so no relaxing shooting ditch for me! 

Night exercise: Mapping
Well, this time we got a map and a compass.. and coordinates when you reached the locations.
Sounds fun, yep it is, but not when your buddy, another female (and actually my friend over there), is in pain of blisters on her feet.. She couldnt barely walk, so I had to carry her weapon for over 8km!!!! and thats like 2 x 3.8kg = 7.6kg!
So yep we were one of the last once who clocked in!
And to make it worse, my female buddy couldnt stand on her feet anymore, so I had nightwatch on my own! 
Yeah, funny, no no no sleep that night!

Again one down! One of my other buddies dropped, collapsed, and got into a hospital with ambulance, they think hartfailure! I feel very sorry for him, totally like him!

> Day 3 Exams
We got 1hour for packing in our tent (like we hadnt done that before), and fitting our backpacks for a march of 10km in full ops. (backpack weighs about 15kg, excl your weapon, helmet, and gear)
Before our march we got tactics exam, patrol on your own and shooting targets.. ; reaction while under fire/attack.
I got good scores..so yeah! go me!

Mindgame number 1837362, of that 3 days exercise was, that we had to collect all bulletshells.. (you know how big that forrest and terrain were??), also we had to break down and pack in the CO's tents.
After lunch we had to start marching back to the base, about some 10km, in the heat of 27+ degrees C! 15kg on my back, a weapon of 3.8kg, 3 magclips around 1.8kg, and your gear (scoop, goggles etc)  and water 1L.  And serious that backpack is to big for me, so the straps dont really fit.. so its really a burden.
But I made it!  I was freaking proud!
Also the boys and CO's never expected me to make it, because of lyme and my bodylenght. And I got still air, wasnt that really tired.
The girl, with the painfull feet didnt participated and the other one, the moaning one, collapsed during the march.

But its I think also part of th good vibe in the platoon I made it, we song the most ridiculous songs.. And nope never expected that I would sing, Im from Belgium, Pretty pretty belgium..

The nxt day, after a good, but short night, sleep, and a real bed, we had to salute the flag.. That feels so lame, as dutchy, saluting the belgium flag and listen to their anthem. But sofar they have been good to me!

Im off until wednesday.. so 8 days left and phase 1 is over! 

Ow one last thing; I got a new TIC-bite! arggggggh

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Salute,

Sick, thats what I am.
My bloodresults came back, I have Lyme Disease (caused by a tic bite, the only one I have ever had!ARGG) . Thats not good! So not Good. Its compareable to MS, multiple scelerosis, but it will not eat you away. But it hits your nerve/mucles system..and that hurts! Makes your body tired, uncontrolable, and if you dont treat it, it will make you paralized and it can even causes death.
Its also a kind of a silent killer, because one hour or one day you feel awesome almost high, and the nxt your paralized..thats soo killing/nervewrecking..

I have stage 2, so Im still standing and keep on going...
Drugs, loads of druggies, my motivation and determination keep me going.
The shadow side is, Im not allowed to shoot, run, march etc.. And thats really fucked up!
Last week I collapsed two times, and with my body shaking like hell (caused by lyme), I almost kicked my CO right in the face.

The other thing I suffer from is a side affect of the anti-biotics they give; oesophagitis. And that hurts like hell as well!
Im on a diete, and am not allowed to eat fruit, fat food, tomato's, peppers etc.. and NO  NO NO alcohol and soda's..argg

Yep they are concerned just like me, but I will not give up, I refused to go home, I have to make it.
So yep everybody is giving me huge credits and respect for that one,  and that does make you feel good.

But that doesnt mean I cant laugh anymore!

I had beside all those fucking things a fun week.
I had to report loads, to our CO's for all kind of reasons. Here some highlights;

1. One of my CO's crashes into a loading dock door with the truck, and blames ME!!!
    So I have to report for that!
    I walk into the office of our CO's, and when I have told my side of the TRUE story, they all have to laugh.. leaving the one in question  
    redfaced!

2. They cancelled our bar-restriction, so yep everybody was drunk, except me, because im not allowed to drink. My female platoonie/roomie, was soo drunk that she showed her bra to one of our (hot) CO's, so I say, PLEASE.. dont!
While he spots also my pink bra shoulder laces, (because our gym T's are sooo wide, they are men's XL)
The next day he comes to me and says; I prefer pink...
(dont get me wrong here, there is more to this story, why it is funny, but I dont want to write it all down)

3. I got into an argument with one of my platoonmates, and gave him a right yep right on his jaw (Penny can be soo proud at me). Reason; he lifted me up and twirled me on his shoulder, that HURTS! when you have lyme and oesophagitis!
You you how much? Well, I had to go to an hospital at 1 AM!!! And got my second litium injection shot that week right in my ass!
Also they guards, have spotted this and they filed us! They accepted my testimony and dropped charges.
My platoonmate was crying the same evening and was so sorry for it. I accepted his apologies, but not his behaviour caused by booze! 

4. I made loads of songs/lyrics. Ok its not nice, because they have to do with a girl in our platoon who we have turned our backs against to. Serious, she causes us trouble! She is too fat to run, smokes so much, so she cant run.. Also she dresses so budnaked trashy, that it even makes the boys puking sick. She listens to teenagehouse like lilly allen, lady gaga-bhabha, and dutch stupid r&b songs..soo freaking annoying. It drives me and my roommate crazy..every morning at 5.30am it starts..  But the main reason is, she whines all the time, she get out of her bed, and it starts, I have pain here, pain there..all the time 24/7.. it drives us nuts! Also she shows no respect for us, she never listens, its always me, me, me..
Even our CO's imitate her.. so that says enough tho!? 

Upcomming week, we have again a training simulation of a couple of days. I have to go! No matter what, If I collapse again, I know I will get back on my feet some day. As long as I show them, that I want it, that im strong, I hope they will not give up on me, because im not giving up that easily! 

3 weeks left...

Hope you all are good! 

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Salute,

Listening to one of my favo songs; Bob Dylan's Knocking on Heavens Door..

Im not ready to go anyway.. I hope that nobody answers that knock on the door.
Well first Thanks girls for your support!

I feel a bit better..actually I feel great, not during the mornings because thats the time the med's have to kick in, they make me sick..puking sick.
But I dont have much time to be sick (have only 3 weeks left to finish phase 1!!!), tomorrow I have to report again for a very busy and important week.
Im very nervous, because its part 2 of the shootingexams..and I need this certificate sooo much! Then im a fullbird..meaning Im allowed to engage in conflict areas around the globe instead of watching people getting hurt etc. Also this exam contains; shooting is survival, meaning, shooting while under attack. (manipulations in close combat)
With passing these, I get also a new second weapon, a glock pistol 9mm .. like a policegun, small firearms.

I dont know why I talk so lightly about the thing what happened. I almost died 3 years ago also because of an allergie attack, caused by ???
Think its because I dont feel sick, I know my bloodworks shows im sick..but I dont feel it..so dont see it.

Maybe its just a combination of things, the spot (they still dont know what it is/was), the allergie reaction and I think I have chronic HBshortage.

Today, Paul and I set up the tent, it went great. We will crash our asses down in France, West Coast, near Bordeaux probably a tiny Island called Ile D'Olereon. (ive bin there b4)
We never make a reservation, we (he) just drives and I sing along with the music (poor paul), and we crash somewhere we think its nice. This time we have a huge tent with us, so we have to make sure we go to a nice spot otherwise it tooo much to setup / break down the tent.

Tomorrow, before I go back to base, I have a yacht party.. yea I know sounds snobby, but my uncle hits the big fiveO! and we go take a tour with his boat owyea..yacht..
He is btw a very cool guy.. he's the only one I like in the familly. He is a astronomer and archeologist. So yep that makes things interesting for my nerdy side.
And he is very left winged, just like me.

Nxt Saturday, I might go to a survivalparc with my gym-buddies, natalie and penny.. but that depends on my medical condition.


Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Salute,

Ive been send home for 3 days.. reason; I almost died!

I dont want to make a huge story out of it, so here's what is happening/happened;

2 weeks ago, I have a tiny spot on my right upper leg.. I didnt saw it, my roommates told me.
The spot kept growing massive, and was hot..(but it didnt hurts or itch at all)

My CO, orders me to see a doc, I neglect that order and dont go.

Last monday, I go see a doc, because tuesday we will leave for a training simulation.
Also last days I starting to feel sick, and im soo freaking tired and feel nausea

Also I go see a doc because of my right knee.

Diagnose:
- Knee needs indeed surgery (but thats for later)
- He gives me again painkillers
> The spot??? 3 docs visits me, nobody knows, They give me heavy antibiotics and side medication to relief the sideaffects of nausea. (they think, bacterial skin infection or lyme >my blood shows that I might have it)

Tuesday: Training sim day
- 5.45AM I take 4 pills and refuse to take no.5 (because I felt I had enough already) 2 pills I NEED to take for nausea I decide to take 1..
- 6.20AM During breakfast I feel sick, go to washroom, puke.. all over! And see that my pupils are very wide and im shaking all over..
- Around 6.30AM.. Im outside.. shaking on ground, the boys of my platoon lift me up and then everything goes very fast..

I remember that im laughing, cursing and have non sense talk..

I refuse an ambulance transport and a CO drags me into his car and off we go to the hospital.
I get valium right in my ass to stop the shaking and spasms made by my muscles/nerves..

Conclusion:
Im allergic to Domperidonum... I can be lucky that I took 1 of the 2 pills.. If had taken 2, I could be death..burried under a Belgian flag..hmm

The reason Im send home is also: My bloodscreening is not good; HB Low - Bloodcells Low - Oxygen in Blood Low, LIVER BLOODCELLS 2 anomalies..

So not happy at all!

But the thing is, I dont feel that sick.. monday I was running in the heat 7KM.. so whats wrong with me?
The doc thinks its gonna be ok, because the rest of the bloodwork was good, the white cells were very good. My fysical condition is also very good according to him..duhhhhhhhhh I worked my ass off!
No I dont think I have hepatitis, because Im vaccinated for that.

The only positive thing this week was: 
I might get a transfer to MEDIC-Department! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! I hope Brussels approves! Then I will not be a stormtrooper but a medic....just what I wanted! (4 of the 5 department votes were positive..only Brussels can block it, and they are the worse.. office pricks who dont know anything about the world outside their tiny world)

Ow and I went to the gym today (because im bored and stubborn)! Was totally awesome, saw my old friends, got squeezed by john and penny, and fed well by natalie.
Tomorrow me and Paul will set up the tent of my parents (because our tent is now "owned" brutally haha, by Pauls parents), Paul and I will go to france in August. 

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

PRETTY IN PINK?!? I MUST BE SICK!
PINK SWIMSHORT MATCHING FLOP'S

Salute,

Ofcourse, again, last week was very rough.
After a crashcourse of 3 days with a fnc assault rifle, and tears and blood lighter, I PASSED MY SHOOTINGEXAM! 
It was serious damn hard.

( Below the cut, my partner in crime.. )( Below the cut, my partner in crime.. )
Im very happy, because no passing, would mean, no graduation!
So up to the nxt firearm exam.

Upcomming week, we have a 3 days trainingsim planned. Camping outside, in very good weather condition! Serious awesome! This limits ofcourse the chance of earthworms..

Another thing is that the dynamics between the CO's is changing... And also me and another girl start to get annoyed by our other roomie.. she is whining all the time and is too fat and lazy to run.. serious, people like that dont belong in the army, they drag the entire group down.
Sorry had to say that.

For the rest its still going ok.. alltough im a bit worried about my knee.. they found stuff in it..and are talking about surgery.

Hope you all are doing cool!

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Salute,

Last week was again very exhausting and turbulent!

1. College long days from 8 to 22.00 hrs!!! (lights out at 22.30hrs last!!)
2. Shooting Exercises (very exhausting, body-positions, heavy armor and the weapon itself..pff)
3. Mapping in the forrest.. lucky for my buddy, that he was with me.. damn..if I agreed with him, we would walk the same freaking long miles back again!!! The opposite of North West is South East.. dumby! Serious, I had never thought that I improved in mapping! Paul can be proud!
4. CPR training was hilarious > NOT!
5. Run 8km smootly! (1guy even quit!)
6. Im the only girl in our platoon whom is still on active duty.. (the rest of the girls are partly in sickbay or medical relief)
7. Some guys have spoiled it, resulting: OUR ENTIRE PLATOON HAS A BAR RESTRICTION for the entire basic period of 15 weeks!
8. As punishment: KITCHEN JOB last friday, our weekend started at 6pm..argg (at least that CO was nice..he gave us beer, food, snacks and laughs)

So what happened:
The guys of our platoon went to the bar.. comming back pretty drunk.. AND without knocking walked into our room! With one of my platoon mates topless! (because we were preparing ourselfs for sleep) AND to make it even worse..they filmed it! 
So she goes nuts! ofcourse!
Resulting in big probs, and now there is a official claim made by her...
So this is gonna stir the heat up even more... but come on,,, duh! stupid boyz! 

Also I wasnt happy about something, because one of the guys pushed me onto a bed of one of our pl. mates, and caused me a big lumb/bruise on my shin! (that was the same night the other things happened) and the day before, during medical training he lifted me up and put me onto the cpr doll... yea you can laugh..but these were done with sexual intentions..
Also im considdering a claim against him.

Im happy that our CO's are backing the "girls".. They rock, serious!

This week is gonna be even more rough. IM freaking nervous about 3 days shootingpractise.. Thats really exhausting and a weapon for a  right handed person while im a left handed shooter isnt making it easier.. Im so affraid that they will send me home..

I really hope things will work out fine..because the rest of the boys are freaking awesome!
The weekend was over soon!

Take Care!
Enjoy your week!

xxXxx

LT out

Whatz New?

• 15:29 Freaking tired, and comming down with a cold.. my eye is triggering already for 8days or some.. off to go back to base.. have a great week! #

Salute,

Well, finally weekend! The first two weeks have been very exhausting, but sofar I totally love it!

Getting up in the morning at 5AM and sleep .. mwah. NOT!
In our platoon of 26 souls, are 4 girls.
One of them snores... soooo loud, that we cant sleep!

She is crying all the time, isnt good in sport at all, has a bad negative vibe etc..
And ofcourse she cries when I tell her to shut up.. during the night. And even when we nicely ask her to raise her voice more.

But beside that, back to "my" platoon.
26 Souls, and already 4 MIA!
Yep.. they have left us already.

Sofar Im really lucky with the group im in.
The guys are really really nice and fun to have around and be around.
Our CO's are, sofar very awesome.. but ofcourse there are exceptions!

I lost loads of body weight already, what I find very disturbing at the mo!

So what have we done sofar.
Well, we had 4 major marchings of 5 - 10 km through rivers, forrests and buckled up.
Lucky for me, I havent any blisters at all! (slams on wooden table, to keep it that way!)
Mapping.. I was the leading woman, this time.. and it went well! pfff lucky for me!
Loads of college! People even fall asleep during those classes. (with consequenses for all of us.. very lovely~)
Loads of sports, runs and socalled chinese drills.. very annoying!
Drinking at the bar! only two.. because more I couldnt handle..
And ofcourse loads of disciplinaire drills.

Also we had THE sports test.. and omg.. the max score is 100%, ive got 90%!
2400mtr womans  in 14.23 min max > I got 11.12min! (this is within the GUYS 12.00 min grid! WOOHOO!)
1 min push ups (womans 20) I got 55 push ups!!!!! Really SICK! (guys grid 30 push ups/1 min)
1 min sit ups (womans 25) I got 44 sit ups!!! (Guys grid 35 /1 min sit ups)

But there is a thing Im affraid of. I cant reload my gun! It seems its broken.. They will try to fix it..but the thing is, some very strong muscled men, CAN RELOAD IT..
So, the shootinginstructor keeps whining that I can do that too..  (well im not 6ft and a bodybuilder..)
Im affraid this failure of me, will cost me my position.

Im crossing my fingers already for monday nxt.

Also.. one guy in my group, really likes me. I dont know what to do with this. Yep he is to me very attractive. But I cant pay attention to this. I mean, its really not done to date or screw around with somebody in the same platoon! And serious, when your are a girl in a mens world like that.. serious, dont start! It will follow you around for ever! (you will be labeled as the ho of the base)

Today, I feel really tired, I think Im getting a cold.. Really dont wanna have that right now!

Take Care of you all! Hope you're all well!

xxXxx

LT out
( SOME PICS! BELOW THE CUT! )

Whatz New?

• 17:41 Army-Life, it was an awesome but an exhausting week! Sofar, Cool Group, Cool CO's.. Up to the nxt! #

Salute,

Wednesday I got the the long awaited answer; IM ACCEPTED!

Yep, for seconds I was happy, until I asked the officer, which position..
- StormTrooper..

NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT HAPPY!

I was and still am, very disapointed, and im sooo not looking forward to start this tuesday!
This because I read, that I have to SIGN for 4 freaking years, for this position!  (STILL TODAY I HAVENT HAD THE OFFICIAL PAPERS! Its that I asked, the officer to send them by email, why should I even make it easier for them?)
And knowing already that I will never make it! I cant run 2400 mtrs in 9 min!!!NEVER! I can do the standard of 2400mtrs in 12..thats already a challenge for me!
Im not a comando! Or marching for 45km and up, with a backpack netto weight of 35-40kg! 
Im serious, how can Brussel, accept my marks and bio-data, for this position?

Im really freaking annoyed.. Also because I had to call, and ask myself, for the results, call them because of a mistake in paperwork, go to Antwerp to open a bankaccount, and then hearing that I needed a document, that the army in the first place told me, that it wouldnt be needed etc.. So one bank didnt accepted me, and its because of Paul, dragging me to another bank, I got a account in the end. I felt already guilty to him to ask him to go to Antwerp for this.. I know he isnt angry ..but its just all a big disapointment..

I so dont wanna do it! But I have to! I have no escapes anymore..
Also the troops Im assigned to are the ones who were accused of racial crimes, earlier.

At the same evening I went to my gym and everybody was very happy, but they saw looking at me, I wasnt happy at all.. because I know already I will never make it. Its just that they wanna have a quota.. you know, the amount of females in fighting positions...
Also, I wanna learn something real, fight for something real, and not become something or somebody im NOT! 

Fuck this serious! I shouldnt have listened to that officer at the testing centre.. he trusted me that I could switch after basictraining to another position..but its NOT! 

Serious, havent really slept well, last days, and invested again loads of money in stuff I need to buy for this.. (yep not everything is for free).. Also at the scale I saw, very shocking 48kg! thats 2 kg under the min weight.. so yep im eating loads of pasta, but also peanutbutter, choco, even fries.. but it makes me sick..blah!

What should I do? What can I do? Yep I will do basictraining, just for myself..and then I will def. try to change position! I told my mum what my fear in this is.. > I dont like failures.. and I feel I will fail... And I dont want that.. not again.. I wanna do this for my mother.. I ow it to her..
She understands my postion, also Paul.. I almost broke down in cry yesterday in downtown Antwerp, 1. of dissapointment, 2. of anger...
Why can life be such a cruel bitch some times?

Also, I spoke to Penny, she was nice and very supporting in this.. and said;  you worked freaking hard.. do you wanna throw it all away? Yep I worked so freaking hard for this..but didnt really thought I would be picked for infantry.. I knew that there was a big chance..but on the other hand, my marks were great, and I applied also for the airforce position..but NO NO NO.. now I have plan Z! which isnt even a plan.. because with this, its getting harder to emigrate, and harder to get a job when you leave the army...because society isnt waiting for a killer on payrol! I mean..who needs for example a shooting instructor? I can work as a freelancer or some..

Maybe I have to see this as my summerjob and when(if) IM done with basictraining over 13weeks or some, then im sure Its time to get tested by the dutch.. Ok we will see.. 

First things, first.. I should be happy for a bit..I got a job..but not a job who will set me free. (because I cant make plans of moving out now! because things arent sure!)

Ok I just wanted to whine..just let me.. I needed this!

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out