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lt_alias [userpic]

Look, its the famous 4-eyes-gang and thats the bitch, who..

November 18th, 2009 (03:29 pm)

So, got back from AT4.
Was ok I guess. Especially the pub-night with the 3 dudes only.

When I booked, ages ago I requested not to sit next to SB and the 4-eyes-gang..
I think It went ok. Actually have not really much bad things to say about this and didnt play the gossip game. Only that I know, saw and feel that the gossip had done his job and that all had an opinion about me, without knowing me, and blindly follow the queen of the 4-eyes-gang. And ofcourse im called a bitch.. Im totally a no good.
I still think its not fair to demonize me. All the things ive done, are made worse, good things completely ignored and have me made look like a monster or some. Well nxt time I will play that out..

During AT4 I had to wear mostly my trainers because yep my stitches did pop out.
AT was nice and asked me double checked seriously if I didnt live in canada anymore. We both knew the same people casting shit and she was like next time your so on! So that was cool. Also she reconized and knew from the things Ive did over there.
Funny was also that she knew things about me, only my agent knew, and as some of you know my agent was in business with also them.

Ok what else.. actually feel great, tomorrow some great meet up. And just heard got new housing at my job! Freaking cool!
Also just send an email to Canada for work-permit support!
Thanks AT for that, was just the boost I needed.

For now I have other stuff to do!

See ya!

lt_alias [userpic]

Drama's and Sweet Revenge

November 8th, 2009 (12:57 pm)

current mood: bouncy


Its been a while since I had a proper update.
Actualy there is so much going on lately that I cant even start to write it down, its too much.

Drama first,

One of the girls in my platoon tried to kill herself 2weeks ago. All since the start she is mentally instable. She is a friend, but she doesnt want to see that she is not capable for the work we're doing (Im also not really fit for it, but I acknowlage that, thats why Im busy to change postion) . She isnt good at sport at all, she is too much overweight, she smokes too much, and she suffers from multiple medical auwies, our platoon dislikes her, and her past is catching up on her, she just cant let go of her childabusive / sexual abusive history (then your a ticking time bomb... if your working in military).
So 2weeks ago, we had a major fieldtraining, she went to see the shrink, and after that she didnt wanted to go back on the field anymore. I tried to talk sense into her, stayed with her for over 2hours, until our CO game, she flipped totally. Refused an order, I had to stand between her and the CO, had to pull her collar, make her go. (refusing an direct order is truly a crime, and the CO we have right now is really a GI JOE if you get the pic, he wanted to knock her down..)  Still she refused, I told her, just go, call me when you get there and I call the Head CO crisis intervention psych.. But just go.

So I gave her some time, walk outside, to calm down our CO because he was raging outside the building calling names etc. Go back inside and all I find were pills on the ground..she was sitting there being numb. I smacked her in the face, but she stayed numb, opened her mouth, got behind her and pushed her belly, making her spitting out those pills..
She came a bit back to her senses, and said she only wanted 2 ibu's.. yea right.. I collected at least 19 on the floor and there were 3 in her mouth and 2 came out after I pushed her belly.

I ran outside, ordered.. yep I yelled at the CO that he had to leave! (like I can give an order.. NOT) He looked at me, suprised, and did leave!
I called crisis intervention. That Captain came.. they admitted her.

So drama's all over..
Since then I have to report myself at 5.45 in the freaking morning!
Whatever. I dont have probs with my CO.. actually we have a good work relationship..I think this order came from my LT.

So now its official im the only girl in the platoon.

P-90 = Power!

In the last field training I had to be a P-90 shooter.. freaking awesome, a lightweight weapon, small, and very powerfull. Way much funner to use this in sim's instead of shootinglane.  The boys had to carry around the heavy minimi.

Standing my Grounds!

Yep, its the old me. Two days ago I went with some of my platoonies to the bar at the compound where ofcourse that creepy skinhead pathetic guy hung out as well. While I was back in training we had sometimes some arguments..
He is 34 y/o and I see him every sunday in the train where he wants to show me movies on his phone about very young girls (minors) .. you know what I mean. I told him many times how disgusting he is.. also knowing he has a daughter of his own. I already reported this.

He keeps asking me if I want to sit on his lap...etc. you know stupid boys talk.
So when we were at the bar, 2 days ago, he kept calling me, I ignored him.. The bar was packed with staff and students.. suddenly he is behind me and wants to lift me up.. I turn around, smack him right in the face with my fist.. he looks suprised, calls my name, and I gave him another on right on his left jaw... Everybody was laughing in his face.. And told him he got what he deserved..
He walked away, in silence feeling ashamed.

Serious, I have to stand my ground in a atmosphere like this.. thats why I dont wanna be in the infantry.

The Artist and many others..

I know it sounds snobby. But I do have official 9 stalkers.
I do like 2 of them. One is the artist..but I just like him, I will never start a relationship with him. The other one is a guy from my own platoon, but he is too young, but has such a big heart!
The oldest stalker, (he called the mainoffice to get me on the phone to ask me out!!!!) He is freaking 48 years old!
Also my old CO, is not really stalking me, we just have fun.

Shopping Days

I went to Utrecht, Tilburg, Eindhoven, Den Bosch, and still I havent found anything.. very annoying!

Monday - Cut day!

Some of you know, what will happen 2morrow. Im not really nervous..only that I cant eat , drink or smoke..kinda annoying!
If I do die.. the world will keep turning.. 

Take Care!


Killer on Payrol

lt_alias [userpic]

Its just all in your head, have no fear...

October 25th, 2009 (11:48 am)

current mood: bouncy

What I choose to do is of no concern to you and your friends
Where I lay my hat may not be my home, but I will last on my own
'Cause it's me, and my life
it's my life
This dynamite stick buried the wick, it's gonna explode any minute
Some lunatic lit it and
Do not tell me to stop yelling, when I stop selling I quit
So stop dwelling an I am not felling
You fuckers are not ready, cause I got jelly, like p*s pot belly
This is Destiny, yes money I'm of running
So get off of me, I'm not slowing or softening

No apologies, nah suckers I'm not sorry
You can all sue me, y'all could be the cause of me
No apologies, y'all feelin' the force of me
No remorse for me, like there was no recourse for me
No apologies, not even acknowledging you at all
'till I get a call that god's coming
No apologies, laugh fuckers it's all funny
I can spit in ya face while your standin' across from me, no apologies
Can't sleep 'cause everything's changing
You don't want to leave things behind
Can't breath cause to many things going on going wrong in your life
Tears in your eyes, Sweet goodbyes
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

lt_alias [userpic]

Keep your head up, Im Loyal To The Game

October 24th, 2009 (06:50 pm)

Now I've got to ask, 
tell me will they blast me
I think of an alias in case these crooked crazy bitches ask me
Now, it's gettin crazy after dark, these NARC'S
be like tryin to shut me down but I'm too smart

Now picture me scared of the penitentiary
I've been movin these things since the days of elementary
Now tell me what you need when you see me
I'm stackin G's, buyin all the things on TV, believe me

I got some killers on my payroll, and they know
When it's time to handle business, p*'s lay low
Although I'm young, I'm still comin up
I'm gettin paid, pullin razors on p* s when they runnin up

Im Loyal To The Game

PSO Peace Supporting Ops
A1Zero Mission Statement


Here it is, Im now a full bird of the the infantry unit....
A1Zero Is gone, Bravo is now.
And believe me, its a hard game they play over there,
Networking, is going well, my plan is working,
the right people are working..so thats good.

Everything is going well, I feel great, strong
(thanX to the infantry fight-training program blah bah!!!! serious shit,
I lost my bayonet already, it could be handy)
Having fun, alltough I slipped back to my old life-style,
The not healty one.. but who cares, I have nothing to
proof right now..

What else, well, You Know, I know..
Its gonna be fun, See Ya,
Somethings is comming in hard and fast..

Take Care,


Pics of the Final: Goodbye A1Z

How it all started..

Final Salute to A1Z
ive got a dif. rifle a paratroopers rifle. yep..why me.
 Here Is B2Z 5th Infantry Regiment, Liberation CMP,
yea funny, not,  my barret didnt do what I wanted it to do..

  Tha Platoon

So what do we use: (serious wanna go to the medical troops)

 minimi 5,56 - 45 mm (our standard weapon)

 FNC assault rifle  5.56 - 45 mm (our standard weapon)

p90 5.7 - 28mm (yeap like in stargate series) (pdw personal defense weapon)

 LAW anti tank weapon 66mm

Mag machine gun 7.62 - 51mm

  back-up gun, pistol GP 9mm

OKC-3S Bayonet- Bowie Bayonet for the Marine Corpsbayonet "bowie" back up weapon pdw

Still have to train for:

The new member of the family:

 F2000 assault rifle

lt_alias [userpic]

Sunday I love You!

October 11th, 2009 (02:45 pm)

Girlz: im still here
current mood: cheerful
Reckoner; Gnarls Barkley: Anouk Falling Sun


Damn this entire weekend is very relaxing.
Not to mention that I gained bodyweighed.. I think the booze is kicking in, because I just gained 2kg..
But thats ok, now im at my normal weighed. 
Still I will start training next week again, I have to be fit for something comming up soon....................... *EVIL GRIN*

Anyway, today I decided its torrents day.. so I;ve watched SGU all parts sofar, its ok, and I watched sanctuary, well I tried, I still havent seen an entire epi, without fastforward it.. its boring. 

But I saw again some of my old friends, I saw michael who play;s a cop in a lab where that blonde chick breaks in.
Actually when I watch sanctuary im more interested in the background and background people.

What else, Im nervous for tomorrow, I hope my plan works out.. tomorrow is a kind of judgement day. All the ''games"' Ive played recently, I hope they betta be good for something!
There are two scenario's;
1. I will leave
2. I will be get a temp transfer to the marine/navy as sonar whatever.. (and depart for somalia by then)
For the rest, Janine's mum in in labour right now.. She is getting a new baby sis. Serious everybody around me, has to do with babies somehow.. so anoying.
Also Paul started about it again last friday. Serious why do I always have a feeling that you have to defend yourself as a woman, when you dont wanna have kids!

There is an underlaying reason why babies, love etc are a very sensitive subject to me.. and thats a secret I still keep to myself for over 10 years now. And no, im not G-ay! (if that was the case it would be easy) Im not made for relationships, but I can be a friend tho..

Well thats it, see you nxt week!


LT out

lt_alias [userpic]

Feel'n Nostalgic

October 10th, 2009 (04:34 pm)


I just got back from a friend who lives in Utrecht. She used to be in the army, the other dutch girl, who didnt made it. Caroline is her name.
Her mum passed away little time ago and now her dad is also diagnosed with cancer..again.
Anyway, in the forces, also some of the CO's, staff etc, really rudely treated her, so she left... (ok I wasnt also very into her night snores!! yep thats the girl)
But when the end was comming, she came down to our room, crying big tears, multiple times. Telling me her deepest fears, about her being alone, and yep believe me, when you hear her out, she is alone.
Her father, is still in mourn about her mum and doesnt understand anything of her. He patronizes her in everything, he even keeps track of her bankaccount; I even witnessed it (she is 21 y/o for fuck sake), she wasnt allowed by him to leave the army, he tells everybody she is a loser and he is ashamed of her.  (its also his ilness what is causing these contradictions in his behaviour)

Ok, if you would ask me, I would truly admit, she wasnt gonna make it after all, but I dont believe in disrespectfully move people out of the club.. if you get the pic. (unless they truly ask for it)

Anyway, I went to Utrecht to see her.. I got her on a program, the same I did when I went to Canada, and she will leave in mid november to Austria to teach kids-ski. I think its good for her, to go away, away from her fathers judgmental finger.

But the thing was when I was sitting in the bar with her, metellica's nothing else matters playing at the back, then anouk's michel, shakira's underneath your clothes etc.. somehow I got a very fine warm feeling.
I called my new project.. lol.. yep Im worse. He is an artist (drawing/painting), and yep I know him from base. Thats all Im gonna share for now.

Just wanted to share, the wine (rose), hot choco whipped cream, nuts and partysnacks, fireplace, browncafe, ciggysmoke with all of ya!
Ow did I mention the huge amounts of rain, I will spare you all!

Take Care!

And enjoy your weekend!


LT out

lt_alias [userpic]

Guess Who Is Back

October 8th, 2009 (06:45 pm)

current mood: bouncy
Reckoner; Gnarls Barkley: careful what you wish for


Well, im posting while its thursday.. That means im off base. Yep.
Actually im kinda grounded, and send home.
This is because of two reasons;
1. medical reason (networking might pay off, some people want to try that I get a new medic profile, meaning that Im physical not good enough for infantry, which is the truth, I mean..that fighting position is way too much for somebody like me)
2. arguments at the bar

See lately Im like a loose canon. I do have fun, get allong with loads of people (I really have 8 guys now, chasing my ass..its really nuts). But the f* part is that I dont want to be in the infantry. So last monday morning I told my CO that I would drop out. They refuse to let me out, Instead of that some people want to help me to get a new position. Monday eve I saw my old CO and that was some bit tooo much fun.. if you get the pic.
A hangover on tuesday turned into a new estatic stage on Tuesday eve, again too much of all forbidden things, and we had a new party again. This time, I get so annoyed by a pink LT who constantly checked me out.. (see we are newbies in the infantry batalion, so these are kinda intro parties) But that stupid girl got way too close..  (there are only 8 woman in the infantry..)
So yea I got annoyed, and the boys were also getting annoyed because of the changing atmosphere in the bar. In the end, there was some pushing and pulling, a hangover on wednesday and send home for my own damn good, also with the restesting comming up on monday nxt.

Not that it was really a fight. But you know, being new in a group like that, you do have to stand your grounds. I dont like that motto either, but thats the way it goes.
And there is much more going on.. I dont want to be part of that.

Also I so dont want to be there, because we are not living close to base. Its over a 30min walk, and there are no cooking facilities, meaing eating outdoors everyday $$$$$$.
The room I have, together with my roomate, is actually for 8 persons!!! its like an old military sleeproom with bunkbeds, and 1 electrical ap. and no curtains!??? Also there is only 1 key for the bathroom/showers, so you can never decide when to take a shower, you have to pick up the key, also for in the morning!! and we have to share everything with the guys.

So who knows, monday better news.. I really hope so, because I dont wanna leave because of misjudgement!

Take Care!


LT out

lt_alias [userpic]

Figure me out, its hard I know, who is me?

October 4th, 2009 (04:59 pm)


I feel Im in a way back at square one.

I just dont understand why I feel so down, suddenly. Maybe im just very tired or maybe Im getting aware what I have just accomplished.
Yep, I just completed my military training and starting monday for the next evolution as a infantrist/stormtrooper, and will be scedueled for afghanistan in 2010 or some. So for those who rather see me go.. I will go.. and who knows, leave this earth for good.

Last friday I got my barret, the thing is, the entire week I was down, because I so dont want to be a stormtrooper. Im still busy with getting another position but now its getting very difficult because im already aboard on the stormtrooper train.

But I wouldnt be ALIAS If I wouldnt play both sides, smile to one, take things from the other..thats how it works in the world im in.
I did played one of my CO's, with this, I got partly what I wanted; intel. I had to lie to the head CO, to cover up our trip. But with this I could do my things, arangements for medical position.

Last week I got fun with this.. both of us got almost in trouble, but a what a smile can do.. pff serious its actually quiet awfull! lol

For now I have to start networking again, starting tomorrow.. I will never leave without causing something...
Hope it will be over soon, so that I can proceed with my backup plan.

Next week, I will try to upload vids of pics of last weeks ceremonials.

Take Care

LT out

lt_alias [userpic]

Recap before the next evolution

October 4th, 2009 (04:49 pm)

So this is it...
This is what I wished for
Just isn't how I envisioned it
Fame to the point of imprisonment
I just thought the shit'd be different
But something changed
The minute that I got a whiff of it
I started to inhale it
Smell it
Started sniffin' it
And it became my cocaine
I just couldn't quit
I just wanted a little bit
Then it turned me (in)to a monster
I became a hypocrite


I was raking in the dough
Rolling in green
Had the game hemmed up
Like a sewing machine
But I was losing my freedom
There was no where for me
To not go and be seen
And just go and be me
And there was no in-between
You either loved it or hate it 


So be careful what you wish for
'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

lt_alias [userpic]

Final Step! Made it!

September 26th, 2009 (04:28 pm)


Last week, final step, last exercise..
I made it!


Yep, it was very intense, but all the previous training I had paid off.
The rain made it very cold during the night, got frogs and lizards jumping around tru my tent, P-ing in the bush left insect bites on my ass, my male buddy was awesome as he doesnt snores during the night, i have 5 guys who told me that they have love feelings for me o_0, some are cute, 1 has a kid, but 3 are too young.., according to the LT im not allowed to snack around with one of my CO's.. hmm Im not not so not guilty LOL, I shot an entire tree death.. sorry, marching 15km with 15kg was freaking exhausting but I passed, again as the only female..,
suprise from the base, friday we had a fieldcross of 5km <30min! DAMN everybody was still sore because of the exhausting final step.. I finnished 1st of the females.. and there were only 2.. haha, because the rest was to the hospital because this shows how intense our final step was..
our platoon A10 > 21 persons lost 6 souls because of final step (incl 2 females), platoon A20> 20 persons lost 4 souls because of final step platoon A50 > 20 persons lost 6 souls because of final step... LOL..serious were weak, tho? 

But I had also loads of fun during our exercises. Next week monday and tuesday we have our exams and then its party and the big ceremonials on friday.. im sure there will be loads of pic by then.. 

And some news about my back up plan because there is something very interesting comming up..

Take Care, hope you all had a great week, up the the nxt!


LT out

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