The Only Thing Necessary for triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing...

BAD LT YOUR SOOO WRONG

2009-12-23T20:42:43Z

Salute,

Ok, lets start with the bad-ass stuff, first.
Already during basic training, Im close with one of my CO's.. (a warrant officer)
He is a couple of years older then I am..so that is also something dif. then usual.
And you can see a glimp of him in the pictures somewhere in my previous entries.

Anyway.. He is one of my drink buddies, I KNOW WRONG!
Last week we had xmas drinks/party's every day! Serious sick!
Being still drunk during morning flag-greeting.. I KNOW WRONG!

So on a tuesday eve, he calls me.. "yea, im in the neigbourhoud and thought I drop by".. (There is nothing to do over there, only army housing.. sure in the neighbourhood..;D)
My roomie wasnt there at the mo, because she was shopping food for ME! hahaha (yea thats how you do that..)
So there he was, standing tall... And the rest is your own imagination.. I KNOW WRONG!

My roomie responded suprised with an very evil grin when she got back from shopping, with him still being there, buckled up again (lucky hell lol), and telling her the same thing; i was in the neighbourhood.. LOL classic!

Later that eve we went to the 2nd xmas party of that week (and it was only tuesday).. well it was big fun.. the same goes for Wednesday eve.. and omg Thursday, was toooo worse! I made out with one of my squatmates.. Just kissing, but still.. I KNOW WRONG.. Also we had to support my roomy and michael (6.6ft about 2.10cm) back to the appt. Well that was a hassle in the snow...
Friday we had xmas bowl .. loads of gluwine.. afterwards me, J and Sof, went with our warrant-officer.. yea the one mentioned above, again to the bar, for the enddrink.. this because Sof is officially fired!!!! (AWOL)

So I was very doped up last friday.. but had a very awesome week, ow and drove a IVECO M65 vehicle.. freaking awesome!.. Yea networking is paying off...
Minor detail: lost; 3 scarfs! 1 hat, forgot to put my bike in the locker!!! totally must have passed it when I got out of the bar, on my way to the trainstation.. hope its still there.. forgot to take a part of the laundry with me.. lol

Ok wazz up now?

Went to Amsterdam with my roomie last sunday.. Was freaking awesome, only.. why! DAmn railroads.. one snowflake and the entire transportation is out of service..

Monday went to see my long time no see friend, Vera.. totally cool to see her again! She is still the same, drinking&smoking.. And yea I think she looked stunning! with her new teeth.. lol

Tuesday, I went 2 the gym, and lost a bet with Penny (5K <23.05min), so 3 rounds of bodycombat, serious my lip is still swollen.. and yea it was damn bleeding.. im sure it will take at least a week or some when its healed.. I lost 2 rounds.. 1 Win.. And had to pay!!!! 20 EURO .. but that was for charity anyway (local foodbank)
And serious fucking hurt in my left upperarm. But it was a good experience.. I think I can be proud of myself.. im not a pro and she is, besides that, im 5.2ft she is 5,9ft, i weigh 51,7kg (112 lbs) she is 74kg (163 lbs)..

Today, wednesday, Paul and me went 2the SPA.. Yea bubbling hotsprings etc.. very relaxing. But still I cant relax, honestly I think its a waste of money, stupid luxery.. If we didnt had the free ticks I wouldnt have gone in the first place.
Also, now sitting here, I have rash every where..
And, people were starring at my lip all the time.. also Paul was LOL..

Thursday, stupid xmas shopping..

Xmasday, @home! ok I will not comment about that one yet.

And then, 2nd day of Xmas (boxing day or the fuck you wanna call it) omg thats gonna be sooo master bad ass like!
Me and seline will have a raclette xmas dinner, with loads of bottles of Red, after, we go to Summers, where we meet up with others..for the xmas party what will last to 5AM.. so thats gonna very sick!
But im sure it was be serious fun!

And JUMPSCHOOL this SUMMER! Hopefully I get my wings.. 7 Solo Jumps..

Ok thats it... a LT style entry.. RAW&SICK

Have an awesome Xmas.. think about the world, its not only about food, (drinks) and presents!

xxXxx

LT out
aka KilleronPayroll

LT BAD-ASS

Much going on..

2009-12-05T19:19:45Z

FUCKING LJ!

Ok last time..

Salute,

1> Wingmen
Ive been asked by crisis-intervention department and my J's mom, to become J's wingmen.. Well im honored.. J is the girl who tried to kill herself some weeks ago. She's back. I dont think this is a good idea. I mean, the army isnt a good enviroment for unstable minds..
Also, loads of people over there, truly HATE her! Serious.. I know its stupid, but thats the way it is.
I cant be a her guard or some. She has to do it on her own. I do want to help her but I dont know how to. Being there, means, play ball.. and not play victim, bench sitter.

Yes I do see her as my friend, but I can only listen to her, this is truly her beef...
Also I have to much things to handle on my own at the moment.
Im still busy with my things.. it goes slowly.. but its paying off.

I cant carry every ones probs on my bag..
But yea, I be the good girl again.. ok I will try!
But cant promise anything!

2> Charity and Hypocrates!
Me, J and other army brats volunteerd on our free day for the army project > beat hunger and cold.. (army gives back to community) So we gave food, blankets, toys etc to homeless and low-income fam's.
It was cool but very poigant. I mean there were so many young people! among them. Also lots ot teenage moms!

Serious, and then you see and hear bystanders; doing their holiday shoppings. Complaining families, fighting about FOOD/SHOPPING.. then also dare to say that they donate to charity...
Yea right..
I hate these kind of people..sorry.. "Yea we donate money.. meanwhile; TV is their life and so is FOOD! Like they have done a good thing by giving money.. this goes also for the people who socalled supported s4k and call amanda tapping an inspiration.. but still fucking only care about food! arggh9284732grarggg
Fucking HYPOCRATES!

Ow did I just said that.. who cares, im sure im so right on this one!

3> Medical
Last week I got an invitation for THE jobinterview I so wanna do! its a 2years bachelor program, fully paid, to become a medic..
its in feb.. im already nervous.. because if I get it, thats my free ride to immigrate 2Canada!

4> Driving License
I finally restart my driving lessons again! I had hoped for january..but it will be likely in March! There is a freaking waiting list!

5> Xmas and Seline
Seline and me will celebrate Xmas 2009 in the bar.. Yep B-Addicts like us, perfectly fit in over there!

6> Xmas and J
Me and J will celebrate pre Xmas in the bar.. Also me and J perfectly fit in there..

7> Xmas and V
How horrible it may sound, me and Vera will also celebrate pre Xmas in the bar.. Winebottle like us, will come home again..

8> Xmas and Paul
Me and paul will celebrate Xmas in the spa-sanadome! Very relaxing!

9> Xmas and Marian
Marian will not not not not not not not get a xmas card this year AGAIN! ...

10> I bought a new bike.. very cheap but brand new!

Take Care for Now!

xxXxx

LT ALIAS out

drabbles

2009-11-28T17:39:01Z

Salute,

So this was my last week @home.
It has been long enough!

So my "dad", is with retirement.. and we all have to suffer from it.

TEN things I hate about it sofar:

1. He cant do anything on his own, he is NOT independent at all!
2. Keeps staring out of the window and has to report everything.
3. He keeps cleaning the house, and toiletpaper is his obsession.
4. Keeps looking (is obsessed for ages) @porn on tv and computer. And bothers me with that! Pathetic loser! Also keeps asking me questions about lovelife, wants 2know if im still in freaking virgin??? Im 28 y/o, dealt with boys before, go fucking to a institute and bother other people with this! I have had enough of this!
5. Starts to make dinner already 4 hours in advance, because of lonelyness and boredom.
6. Keeps asking the same questions over and over, and never understands the answers.
7. Wants me to buy "sex and the city " for him, well isnt that show for fashionitas and gay's? in their 30ties? Its only because of the word SEX he wants to see it.
8. Wants to have a dog again, so history starts over again, he only wants to walk the dog because of the woman he can meet up with, and put them again above his own family.
9. He doesnt know how to do the laundry and is affraid to travel by train.
10. HE just doesnt understand we cant see him for full, all the things he has done to us and still does, he being an adult acting like a little pshych child.

Cant and wont deal with people who are sick in their head..

For the rest im happy to go back to work on sunday! One of the reasons I joined the forces is also because there I can deal with my frustrations about loads of stuff!

Dont get me wrong, I had a great weekend and a very awesome week, but being back home brings back everything, everything why I left it in the first place.
I heard last week, I have new housing > The Hilton!!! Fucking awesome!

Take Care,

xxXxx

Killeronpayrol

Look, its the famous 4-eyes-gang and thats the bitch, who..

2009-11-18T14:29:02Z

So, got back from AT4.
Was ok I guess. Especially the pub-night with the 3 dudes only.

When I booked, ages ago I requested not to sit next to SB and the 4-eyes-gang..
I think It went ok. Actually have not really much bad things to say about this and didnt play the gossip game. Only that I know, saw and feel that the gossip had done his job and that all had an opinion about me, without knowing me, and blindly follow the queen of the 4-eyes-gang. And ofcourse im called a bitch.. Im totally a no good.
I still think its not fair to demonize me. All the things ive done, are made worse, good things completely ignored and have me made look like a monster or some. Well nxt time I will play that out..

During AT4 I had to wear mostly my trainers because yep my stitches did pop out.
AT was nice and asked me double checked seriously if I didnt live in canada anymore. We both knew the same people casting shit and she was like next time your so on! So that was cool. Also she reconized and knew from the things Ive did over there.
Funny was also that she knew things about me, only my agent knew, and as some of you know my agent was in business with also them.

Ok what else.. actually feel great, tomorrow some great meet up. And just heard got new housing at my job! Freaking cool!
Also just send an email to Canada for work-permit support!
Thanks AT for that, was just the boost I needed.

For now I have other stuff to do!

See ya!

Drama's and Sweet Revenge

2009-11-08T12:45:45Z

Salute,

Its been a while since I had a proper update.
Actualy there is so much going on lately that I cant even start to write it down, its too much.

Drama first,

One of the girls in my platoon tried to kill herself 2weeks ago. All since the start she is mentally instable. She is a friend, but she doesnt want to see that she is not capable for the work we're doing (Im also not really fit for it, but I acknowlage that, thats why Im busy to change postion) . She isnt good at sport at all, she is too much overweight, she smokes too much, and she suffers from multiple medical auwies, our platoon dislikes her, and her past is catching up on her, she just cant let go of her childabusive / sexual abusive history (then your a ticking time bomb... if your working in military).
So 2weeks ago, we had a major fieldtraining, she went to see the shrink, and after that she didnt wanted to go back on the field anymore. I tried to talk sense into her, stayed with her for over 2hours, until our CO game, she flipped totally. Refused an order, I had to stand between her and the CO, had to pull her collar, make her go. (refusing an direct order is truly a crime, and the CO we have right now is really a GI JOE if you get the pic, he wanted to knock her down..) Still she refused, I told her, just go, call me when you get there and I call the Head CO crisis intervention psych.. But just go.

So I gave her some time, walk outside, to calm down our CO because he was raging outside the building calling names etc. Go back inside and all I find were pills on the ground..she was sitting there being numb. I smacked her in the face, but she stayed numb, opened her mouth, got behind her and pushed her belly, making her spitting out those pills..
She came a bit back to her senses, and said she only wanted 2 ibu's.. yea right.. I collected at least 19 on the floor and there were 3 in her mouth and 2 came out after I pushed her belly.

I ran outside, ordered.. yep I yelled at the CO that he had to leave! (like I can give an order.. NOT) He looked at me, suprised, and did leave!
I called crisis intervention. That Captain came.. they admitted her.

So drama's all over..
Since then I have to report myself at 5.45 in the freaking morning!
Whatever. I dont have probs with my CO.. actually we have a good work relationship..I think this order came from my LT.

So now its official im the only girl in the platoon.

P-90 = Power!

In the last field training I had to be a P-90 shooter.. freaking awesome, a lightweight weapon, small, and very powerfull. Way much funner to use this in sim's instead of shootinglane. The boys had to carry around the heavy minimi.

Standing my Grounds!

Yep, its the old me. Two days ago I went with some of my platoonies to the bar at the compound where ofcourse that creepy skinhead pathetic guy hung out as well. While I was back in training we had sometimes some arguments..
He is 34 y/o and I see him every sunday in the train where he wants to show me movies on his phone about very young girls (minors) .. you know what I mean. I told him many times how disgusting he is.. also knowing he has a daughter of his own. I already reported this.

He keeps asking me if I want to sit on his lap...etc. you know stupid boys talk.
So when we were at the bar, 2 days ago, he kept calling me, I ignored him.. The bar was packed with staff and students.. suddenly he is behind me and wants to lift me up.. I turn around, smack him right in the face with my fist.. he looks suprised, calls my name, and I gave him another on right on his left jaw... Everybody was laughing in his face.. And told him he got what he deserved..
He walked away, in silence feeling ashamed.

Serious, I have to stand my ground in a atmosphere like this.. thats why I dont wanna be in the infantry.

The Artist and many others..

I know it sounds snobby. But I do have official 9 stalkers.
I do like 2 of them. One is the artist..but I just like him, I will never start a relationship with him. The other one is a guy from my own platoon, but he is too young, but has such a big heart!
The oldest stalker, (he called the mainoffice to get me on the phone to ask me out!!!!) He is freaking 48 years old!
Also my old CO, is not really stalking me, we just have fun.

Shopping Days

I went to Utrecht, Tilburg, Eindhoven, Den Bosch, and still I havent found anything.. very annoying!

Monday - Cut day!

Some of you know, what will happen 2morrow. Im not really nervous..only that I cant eat , drink or smoke..kinda annoying!
If I do die.. the world will keep turning..

Take Care!

xxXxx

Killer on Payrol

Its just all in your head, have no fear...

2009-10-25T11:42:00Z

What I choose to do is of no concern to you and your friends
Where I lay my hat may not be my home, but I will last on my own
'Cause it's me, and my life
it's my life
*

This dynamite stick buried the wick, it's gonna explode any minute
Some lunatic lit it and
Do not tell me to stop yelling, when I stop selling I quit
So stop dwelling an I am not felling
You fuckers are not ready, cause I got jelly, like p*s pot belly
This is Destiny, yes money I'm of running
So get off of me, I'm not slowing or softening

*
No apologies, nah suckers I'm not sorry
You can all sue me, y'all could be the cause of me
No apologies, y'all feelin' the force of me
No remorse for me, like there was no recourse for me
No apologies, not even acknowledging you at all
'till I get a call that god's coming
No apologies, laugh fuckers it's all funny
I can spit in ya face while your standin' across from me, no apologies
*
Can't sleep 'cause everything's changing
You don't want to leave things behind
Can't breath cause to many things going on going wrong in your life
Tears in your eyes, Sweet goodbyes
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Keep your head up, Im Loyal To The Game

2009-10-24T17:34:37Z

Now I've got to ask,
tell me will they blast me
I think of an alias in case these crooked crazy bitches ask me
Now, it's gettin crazy after dark, these NARC'S
be like tryin to shut me down but I'm too smart

Now picture me scared of the penitentiary
I've been movin these things since the days of elementary
Now tell me what you need when you see me
I'm stackin G's, buyin all the things on TV, believe me

I got some killers on my payroll, and they know
When it's time to handle business, p*'s lay low
Although I'm young, I'm still comin up
I'm gettin paid, pullin razors on p* s when they runnin up

Im Loyal To The Game

PSO Peace Supporting Ops
A1Zero Mission Statement

Salute,

Here it is, Im now a full bird of the the infantry unit....
A1Zero Is gone, Bravo is now.
And believe me, its a hard game they play over there,
Networking, is going well, my plan is working,
the right people are working..so thats good.

Everything is going well, I feel great, strong
(thanX to the infantry fight-training program blah bah!!!! serious shit,
I lost my bayonet already, it could be handy)
Having fun, alltough I slipped back to my old life-style,
The not healty one.. but who cares, I have nothing to
proof right now..

What else, well, You Know, I know..
Its gonna be fun, See Ya,
Somethings is comming in hard and fast..

Take Care,

xxXxx
LCW-Out

Pics of the Final: Goodbye A1Z

How it all started..

Final Salute to A1Z
ive got a dif. rifle a paratroopers rifle. yep..why me.
Here Is B2Z 5th Infantry Regiment, Liberation CMP,
yea funny, not, my barret didnt do what I wanted it to do..

Tha Platoon

So what do we use: (serious wanna go to the medical troops)

minimi 5,56 - 45 mm (our standard weapon)

FNC assault rifle 5.56 - 45 mm (our standard weapon)

p90 5.7 - 28mm (yeap like in stargate series) (pdw personal defense weapon)

LAW anti tank weapon 66mm

Mag machine gun 7.62 - 51mm

back-up gun, pistol GP 9mm

bayonet "bowie" back up weapon pdw

Still have to train for:

The new member of the family:

F2000 assault rifle

Sunday I love You!

2009-10-11T13:14:58Z

Salute,

Damn this entire weekend is very relaxing.
Not to mention that I gained bodyweighed.. I think the booze is kicking in, because I just gained 2kg..
But thats ok, now im at my normal weighed.
Still I will start training next week again, I have to be fit for something comming up soon....................... ~~*EVIL GRIN*~~

Anyway, today I decided its torrents day.. so I;ve watched SGU all parts sofar, its ok, and I watched sanctuary, well I tried, I still havent seen an entire epi, without fastforward it.. its boring.

But I saw again some of my old friends, I saw michael who play;s a cop in a lab where that blonde chick breaks in.
Actually when I watch sanctuary im more interested in the background and background people.

What else, Im nervous for tomorrow, I hope my plan works out.. tomorrow is a kind of judgement day. All the ''games"' Ive played recently, I hope they betta be good for something!
There are two scenario's;
1. I will leave
2. I will be get a temp transfer to the marine/navy as sonar whatever.. (and depart for somalia by then)

For the rest, Janine's mum in in labour right now.. She is getting a new baby sis. Serious everybody around me, has to do with babies somehow.. so anoying.
Also Paul started about it again last friday. Serious why do I always have a feeling that you have to defend yourself as a woman, when you dont wanna have kids!

There is an underlaying reason why babies, love etc are a very sensitive subject to me.. and thats a secret I still keep to myself for over 10 years now. And no, im not G-ay! (if that was the case it would be easy) Im not made for relationships, but I can be a friend tho..

Well thats it, see you nxt week!

xxXxx

LT out

Feel'n Nostalgic

2009-10-10T14:52:28Z

Salute,

I just got back from a friend who lives in Utrecht. She used to be in the army, the other dutch girl, who didnt made it. Caroline is her name.
Her mum passed away little time ago and now her dad is also diagnosed with cancer..again.
Anyway, in the forces, also some of the CO's, staff etc, really rudely treated her, so she left... (ok I wasnt also very into her night snores!! yep thats the girl)
But when the end was comming, she came down to our room, crying big tears, multiple times. Telling me her deepest fears, about her being alone, and yep believe me, when you hear her out, she is alone.
Her father, is still in mourn about her mum and doesnt understand anything of her. He patronizes her in everything, he even keeps track of her bankaccount; I even witnessed it (she is 21 y/o for fuck sake), she wasnt allowed by him to leave the army, he tells everybody she is a loser and he is ashamed of her. (its also his ilness what is causing these contradictions in his behaviour)

Ok, if you would ask me, I would truly admit, she wasnt gonna make it after all, but I dont believe in disrespectfully move people out of the club.. if you get the pic. (unless they truly ask for it)

Anyway, I went to Utrecht to see her.. I got her on a program, the same I did when I went to Canada, and she will leave in mid november to Austria to teach kids-ski. I think its good for her, to go away, away from her fathers judgmental finger.

But the thing was when I was sitting in the bar with her, metellica's nothing else matters playing at the back, then anouk's michel, shakira's underneath your clothes etc.. somehow I got a very fine warm feeling.
I called my new project.. lol.. yep Im worse. He is an artist (drawing/painting), and yep I know him from base. Thats all Im gonna share for now.

Just wanted to share, the wine (rose), hot choco whipped cream, nuts and partysnacks, fireplace, browncafe, ciggysmoke with all of ya!
Ow did I mention the huge amounts of rain, I will spare you all!

Take Care!

And enjoy your weekend!

xxXxx

LT out

Guess Who Is Back

2009-10-08T17:11:47Z

Salute,

Well, im posting while its thursday.. That means im off base. Yep.
Actually im kinda grounded, and send home.
This is because of two reasons;
1. medical reason (networking might pay off, some people want to try that I get a new medic profile, meaning that Im physical not good enough for infantry, which is the truth, I mean..that fighting position is way too much for somebody like me)
2. arguments at the bar

See lately Im like a loose canon. I do have fun, get allong with loads of people (I really have 8 guys now, chasing my ass..its really nuts). But the f* part is that I dont want to be in the infantry. So last monday morning I told my CO that I would drop out. They refuse to let me out, Instead of that some people want to help me to get a new position. Monday eve I saw my old CO and that was some bit tooo much fun.. if you get the pic.
A hangover on tuesday turned into a new estatic stage on Tuesday eve, again too much of all forbidden things, and we had a new party again. This time, I get so annoyed by a pink LT who constantly checked me out.. (see we are newbies in the infantry batalion, so these are kinda intro parties) But that stupid girl got way too close.. (there are only 8 woman in the infantry..)
So yea I got annoyed, and the boys were also getting annoyed because of the changing atmosphere in the bar. In the end, there was some pushing and pulling, a hangover on wednesday and send home for my own damn good, also with the restesting comming up on monday nxt.

Not that it was really a fight. But you know, being new in a group like that, you do have to stand your grounds. I dont like that motto either, but thats the way it goes.
And there is much more going on.. I dont want to be part of that.

Also I so dont want to be there, because we are not living close to base. Its over a 30min walk, and there are no cooking facilities, meaing eating outdoors everyday $$$$$$.
The room I have, together with my roomate, is actually for 8 persons!!! its like an old military sleeproom with bunkbeds, and 1 electrical ap. and no curtains!??? Also there is only 1 key for the bathroom/showers, so you can never decide when to take a shower, you have to pick up the key, also for in the morning!! and we have to share everything with the guys.

So who knows, monday better news.. I really hope so, because I dont wanna leave because of misjudgement!

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Figure me out, its hard I know, who is me?

2009-10-04T15:22:10Z

Salute,

I feel Im in a way back at square one.

I just dont understand why I feel so down, suddenly. Maybe im just very tired or maybe Im getting aware what I have just accomplished.
Yep, I just completed my military training and starting monday for the next evolution as a infantrist/stormtrooper, and will be scedueled for afghanistan in 2010 or some. So for those who rather see me go.. I will go.. and who knows, leave this earth for good.

Last friday I got my barret, the thing is, the entire week I was down, because I so dont want to be a stormtrooper. Im still busy with getting another position but now its getting very difficult because im already aboard on the stormtrooper train.

But I wouldnt be ALIAS If I wouldnt play both sides, smile to one, take things from the other..thats how it works in the world im in.
I did played one of my CO's, with this, I got partly what I wanted; intel. I had to lie to the head CO, to cover up our trip. But with this I could do my things, arangements for medical position.

Last week I got fun with this.. both of us got almost in trouble, but a what a smile can do.. pff serious its actually quiet awfull! lol

For now I have to start networking again, starting tomorrow.. I will never leave without causing something...
Hope it will be over soon, so that I can proceed with my backup plan.

Next week, I will try to upload vids of pics of last weeks ceremonials.

Take Care

LT out
xxXxx

Recap before the next evolution

2009-10-04T14:59:06Z

So this is it...
This is what I wished for
Just isn't how I envisioned it
Fame to the point of imprisonment
I just thought the shit'd be different
But something changed
The minute that I got a whiff of it
I started to inhale it
Smell it
Started sniffin' it
And it became my cocaine
I just couldn't quit
I just wanted a little bit
Then it turned me (in)to a monster
I became a hypocrite

*****

I was raking in the dough
Rolling in green
Had the game hemmed up
Like a sewing machine
But I was losing my freedom
There was no where for me
To not go and be seen
And just go and be me
And there was no in-between
You either loved it or hate it

*****

So be careful what you wish for

'Cause you just might get it
And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold

Final Step! Made it!

2009-09-26T14:41:41Z

Salute!

Last week, final step, last exercise..
I made it!

WOHOO

Yep, it was very intense, but all the previous training I had paid off.
The rain made it very cold during the night, got frogs and lizards jumping around tru my tent, P-ing in the bush left insect bites on my ass, my male buddy was awesome as he doesnt snores during the night, i have 5 guys who told me that they have love feelings for me o_0, some are cute, 1 has a kid, but 3 are too young.., according to the LT im not allowed to snack around with one of my CO's.. hmm Im not not so not guilty LOL, I shot an entire tree death.. sorry, marching 15km with 15kg was freaking exhausting but I passed, again as the only female..,
suprise from the base, friday we had a fieldcross of 5km <30min! DAMN everybody was still sore because of the exhausting final step.. I finnished 1st of the females.. and there were only 2.. haha, because the rest was to the hospital because this shows how intense our final step was..
our platoon A10 > 21 persons lost 6 souls because of final step (incl 2 females), platoon A20> 20 persons lost 4 souls because of final step platoon A50 > 20 persons lost 6 souls because of final step... LOL..serious were weak, tho?

But I had also loads of fun during our exercises. Next week monday and tuesday we have our exams and then its party and the big ceremonials on friday.. im sure there will be loads of pic by then..

And some news about my back up plan because there is something very interesting comming up..

Take Care, hope you all had a great week, up the the nxt!

xxXxx

LT out

lt_alias @ 2009-09-19T21:15:00

2009-09-19T19:35:40Z

Salute,

Well, writing this entry with my new laptop, which im really annoyed with that I had to buy a new one..AGAIN! ARGG
I have to say its a nice baby.. sofar!

Anyway, last week was really a drag! It felt like one of the longest ever.
Shooting, grenates and obstacle course were on the menu..

That means, BORING!
So the old me came back to the surface again..
Bartime every night with the climax on thursday.
Ciggy's and booze all over. Ok not good, but hey, I got fun..so dont judge me.
There are 2 interesting guys at the mo...
But thats just talk. Ok maybe not..LOL
Lets say, I have to admit that one of them is a bit more interesting to me, get the pic?!
And believe it or not, he is a treehugger.. he has his own company in tree surgery...

Next week im starting with my final exams and STEP 4..
Yes im very nervous.. Also because I still dont know what to do when im done! I still dont know If the game im playing will pay off. Otherwise I have to salute the army again goodbye for a little time.. (yes there is a backup plan)

But to please some of you, here are some pics.. Dont laugh.. ok you may..but remember these pics are taken in the moment..

I got more pics.. but just wait.. for those ones.

For now take care!

xxXxx

LT out

Exam day... exhausting..but at least I smile, for once.
Ow when the saints go marching..ow when the saints go marching in...

Whatz up doc? Little Girl with big gun.. is asking for probs
Hmm maybe its time A to poke my nose OR B to take another shot
Me and soph, being annoyed, It wasnt me who killed the rabbit

Bye bye.. early mornings and long nights will start from now..

Welcome on board

First day.. still civilians

Itz a big gun

Yea its serious business..

Third Step one last stop before Final Step Four

2009-09-12T10:17:26Z

Salute,

I just came back from my second last fieldtraining of 3 days. It was freaking exhausting.

Third Step..

Training drill; Guard of Compound, Close Combat training with fire arms, 15k march 15kg, Field survival

Guard of Compound;

We were all set in pairs (also as sleep buddies in the tents), mixed (lucky for me!), our task was to construct a watchtower post in the ground with a kind of a roof and protection. We had 2 watch turns each night. 2,5 hours per shift.
And yes we are armed, and have Blank Munition, but trust me, that hurts, and can even kill you when you shoot someone within 5 meter.. (more about this later)
Ofcourse, we got tested a lot.(simulation) People tried to walk in our compound, Enemies tried to walk in, Allies who tried to walk in, Civilians, Wounded etc.. the exercise was: how do you react, apply the drill procedure etc. Also we got under attack, you know, the throwed thunder flashes etc.. so it was pretty spectecular.

But our entire platoon slept maybe for 1 hour in total.. because the activity at the gates was enormous.
Serious I killed loads, also civilians..hmm But see, its difficult, because you never know, if they are to be trusted, (belt bombs etc)

See, the next day hmm, I killed 2 of my CO's..
I shot the LT in his back.. I know, thats not allowed, even in wartimes, but still, what would happend if he wasnt stopped?

And the other thing, I KNOW now how it feels when you serious shoot a person.
I had to guard my buddy when we checked a vehicle, the "enemy" (one of my CO's) , showed at one moment his gun, so we call it in and shout, GUN, we do the drill, and then suddenly because I came to close he tries to grab my gun, so I tried to pull back, he grabbed my hand and with that my finger pulled, so I fired a shot, just in his right lower abdominals.. I was totally shocked, and he was in serious pain, his clothing was incl his boxers were burned, his skin has second degrees burning wounds and the medics had to take care of him.

The thing was, I thought serious I was in trouble because of this. But later he told me, if this was a real life situation, you did the right thing, its your life or death..

But serious I was almost in shock, maybe not when it was a tru enemy but now it was somebody for my own, you know.

Close Combat in Field;

This was a cool exercise, we were teamed up with 4, and each round one of us was teamleader. So there you walking in the forrest, and suddenly you get multiple incommings and you have to reach a safe haven for your entire team.. Serious, this is really difficult, all the hectics and the people you have to manage, take care off, you have to do everything at the same time, giving the right orders, stay cool etc.
So yea, we were all death multiple times, but in the end we survived and took over enemy grounds.
It was very cool, but exhausting and painfull at the same time.. because trees HURT!
Also getting hit by drill grenate/flashes, gun powder etc hurts too.

15 K - G:

We had to march back, 15 km with a backpack of 15kg.. DaMN! That was serious difficult for me as being small. But guess what, I made it..and 8 people from my platoon had to give up! 6 boys and ofcourse those 2 girls..

Evaluation:

I thought I got Filed because of that shooting incident, but NO, I got 12 point extra because of reaction drills. They told me, that I was reliable when we/I fall under attack. I will guard my ground and troops. Also this is someting, the LT and the other CO''s, said to me, " we know your request to medical troops has denied but know this, we believe that you will make it in the infantry, alltough your small, you have it in you, your stronger then the other girls, who are much taller and bigger, you have the character, drive and motivation, so think twice about leaving"....

I thought that I really wanted to cry.. I was serious overwhelmed by these comments, never expected this.

Next week, small fire arms, grenates etc. Then the second last week: Training Op. The Final Step (step four)

Thanks, Take Care,

Remember, someting is comming, and its comming in hard, because Im not done yet.. I will never give up.

LT out

Changes?

2009-09-06T12:02:29Z

Salute,

First this; my msn is gone..

Something is comming in hard..

Im really busy at the moment, busy with planning and stressing.
Sofar one, stupid office prick at Brussels, didn't approve my request to Medical Troops.
Based on: no fam/social musts??? That was not the reason of my request!

So, the Head Officer/big boss of our Companie, doesnt understands this either, nor do other officers.
Well, im busy with a Legal procedure at the moment. I mean, I didnt came to abort but to proceed, tho!
But this has to stay a bit in secret, because the person who is helping me is an officer who is at the state of war with my compagnie CO's. He has never lost a case.

Also I have to stay low, because im playing some dangerous "games" at the moment. Im busy with networking, I have a lot of supporters but my own Platoon CO's, will not like this. Also there are things going on at the moment what can't see the day-light. Like bribery, give the girls booze then they will not talk..well im not your partner in crime in this (yep I drink, take the money and I screw you at the same time), because I talk, and its already out..

I have only 4 weeks to go, before I go into my final phase of training for the infantry, (afghanistan 2010-2011).
I will abort, if I havent heard anything promissing within 4 weeks.

But that will be a big fucked up suck up, because things are going pretty well.

Also Im busy at the moment with plan B; im busy with with loads of applications as a teacher, and am planning to live in The Hague if Belgium will be a No-Go. I will move to The Hague anyway.. (this because of my educational background)

Also, I got last week a call from the immigration-office, my request of a visa for Canada is approved! But If I take this, I will ask for 2011.
Paul, took the news neutral, which tells me enough, actually confirms what I already thought.

Something else; I dont know whats going on, but lately I get loads of attention from both guys and girls.. haha
There is one guy Im interested in.. He has the same age as I am, owns a company, is in another platoon, tall, blonde, good educational background, adventurous... So who knows..

The girls thing, im getting really annoyed with this.
Another thing is, my roommate is pink (and ofcourse an Anouk Fan so is her girlf) and dates another girl from another platoon, and I can say this.. I makes me nuts, as the boys and the CO's.. I dont care about her being gay, but I dont have to witness that in our room, from nobody!
Because she brings us in trouble, with her behaviour.
And another, not so cool thing, it puts her in danger... The army isnt really happy with this, how sadly it may seem, but thats the way it is for now, and all I can do and have done, is reporting this to....
But im affraid I will lose my head, one day.

Hope you all are doing fine!

Take Care,

I will salute you, but thats it.

xxXxx

LT out

- -

2009-08-25T13:34:23Z

Being in such good mood! * SERIOUS*
Feel like the annual fall-clean-clear-up is about to begin..

I just sended out my emigration application for Canada, wich was on my desk for like 8 months now (.. yea what kind of visas apply for me..)
The thing is: I didnt fill in Paul's name..so now its clear.
He doesnt know this yet, and prob not even realizes this over lets say 2 year.. so whats the big deal anyway!

There is also a big chance I will not go to Canada at all, because my range of interests has been spreaded... also the greencard thing is making things difficult.. its indeed Think Twice.

Take Care,

Goof Out

River Wild and Party Night!

2009-08-24T17:05:54Z

Salute,

The last week of my holiday went very fast.
Last weekend I was drinking BEER!!??? with Marian.. yep I met up with her, and it was very boring. We really grew apart.. Saturday I went to Rotterdam, wich doesnt has a trainstation anymore.. LOL.. work in progress.. only a trailer is now the main station of what used to be a major trainstation. I use to live in this city, but serious felt like a stranger when I walked there. Anyway, I went to the city beach with Silke and it was really awesome... as were the cocktails. (we're both highly ranked for our US Greencard..so who knows I do take it)
Sunday I finally got my Canada pics of seline! I have many of them, also from the house where I used to live, but I will see if I post them, I have changed soooo much.. I will post some of the scenery..

Then I got a call sunday eve from my gym/healthclub. Natalie asked if I was interested in to join Rob, Viv, John, Penny, Peter, Tim, Tom, Martin and natalie, to tgo to the Elzas (France) for a Kayak/Canoying trip of 4 days..sleeping in tents and peddle to a new sleeping spot every day... Also a bit of rock climbing etc.. So, yea what the heck I will go! No youthcamp, but a organized kayak camp, for adults! woohooo
It was really awesome.
They appear to do this every year, with other fitness/health clubs around in the country.

We went with some instructors, and finally I know how to tumble and the helmet fitted me..NO KIDDI's size lol!.. The river had some wild plans, but it was cool. Serious almost p--eeed in my pants a couple of times of fear and fun haha.. And yea, the water was cold.. And the rocks are indeed made of stone.. im bruised everywhere!
I really had a good time, there was sun, water, good and fun people, nice guys, I say very nice guys, music (only I get sick and tired of guys who wanna play guitar during a bonfire..whats up with that..?)!! haha.. but also there was plenty of food and alcohol .. (yep crazzzzy)

So yep, his name was Jerome, 31 y/o, clean and shaven, French, and a very good kisser.. a holidayday lover..
The thing was, Penny tried to kiss me on the second night!!!??? *HELLO* I knew it.. Viv warned me already she had drink too much and kept talking about me.. I turned her down and went to Jerome.. got to do something..

I talked it out with her the next day (had to I shared a tent with her), she told me that she was sorry, drunk..hmm and that she thought I was cute and like-able..hmm Im done with these things you know.. im not not not cute and also NOT like-able. * PUKE*
Viv said, that Its not worth to bother this, according to her its sweet power.. "can play a game with both side of the worlds".. LOL.. (also Soph tells me that loads of times, she is my crazy pink nympf roommate in Belgium)

Viv does it all the time. (serious she scares the shit out of me sometimes..)
She is also a MP and thinks that Paul works in the most GREY-BORING OLDTIMERS department of the MP's.. Well at least his job-worklocation suits his style..

Serious it was really cool, a bunch of gangsters, pimps and ho's that it what we were those days. At least I had fun!
Ow and Peter, made out with another female instructor,..supposed to be the best friend of his WIFE!!!!

But the rule is, what happends in Huningue, stays there..

I came back on saturday, and now counting down to wednesday.. Ignition FASE II (5 weeks)..starting with my final shootingexam.. (sure I will not pass this one)

Hope you all had a great summer!

Take Care!

xxXxx LT out

Second thoughts..

2009-08-12T19:05:55Z

Salute,

I can call this entry subject also, 2.232.584.037.393...thoughts, because I have described these things before.

Anyway, every time, me and paul are together, like 24/7, I always feel, that we're not belong together.

So now again, here it goes.

The big emigration-question;
My answer to that one is right now:
NO I Dont wanna emigrate together with him.
Also I dont see myself together with him in the near future.

Yesterday, he came by and I told him about a docu I had seen on TV about emigration to Australia, that I found it interesting etc.. He was like, yea, we will see.. I said to him: Im going to leave this country anyways.. (meaning, without him)

Why?

Well, like everyone, I have also my standards what I look for in a partner;

1. A HUGE LACK of Ambition
Paul is so NOT ambitios.. that really annoyes me. Even now, with his job, he wants to become a civilian, meaning he will get the job he wants, sitting at a desk, no responsibilities, and I quote: "Relax men, so now and then some coffee, just chill'in..".

I cant stand people with an attitude like this.
Also he started 3years ago with a study, paid by the army, and he is still in year ONE!!!! Just because he is like, I quote again: "Relax, its just because I have so many dif. teachers, and I dont have to visit the school every week, its just chill'in.."..

He entire familly is like this..all of them have good brains, but dont use them! All of them are drop outs from school! Just because all of them are like, relax...

Serious, this word relax is at the moment together with the word CHILL.. one of the most disturbing things on my list!

2. His music style

He is so into the very fast hardcore industry, its really agressive hard-style fast beat, house music..also loads of racial skinheads and low-lifes are part of that scene..
It annoyes me loads..

I know he isnt a skinhead but still, I dont like it.
(he likes also other music, but really loves to go to hardcore party's)

3. Sports-Soccer

Like almost every guy, he is a sports-, no, soccer fanatic. He is a proud seasoncardholder and supporter for years, from our hometown soccerclub, pro soccer league.
He goes to every game, home or visiting, friendly or pro...
Thats cool for him, yep, but he doesnt really understands, if he wants to leave, like emigration, bye bye soccerclub...
According to him, he can leave all of this behind..well I doubt that..

I dont want him to leave the things he loves..
Another thing what annoyes me loads is; his love for hooligan things.. I find it disgusting and so very low-life like.

4. His no-nonsense attitude

He is a typical Dutchmen, no nonsense, its gonna be ok..act normal.. relax.. etc
Well, this attitude brings people not that far, but what also annoyes me is this;
Everywhere we go, for example a restaurant, he only wants to go when there is almost nobody..
The same with the terrace and for example a beachtent..
When there is music at the background or a reallife band, he wants to make sure its not for popular people.. hmm like lounge bars..
Sometimes I think he is so unsecure or some that he is affraid to be seen. He just doesnt know how to behave or some..?
To me he is like; you only want to go to popular places where people wear the newest cloths and sneakers etc.. well im not like that, most people know that.

Even one of his best friends told me, some weeks ago, that he thinks paul is very boring.
Also Seline and Marian once told me that, they dont really see him match up with me.
Im more the outgoing type..

5. His age vs behaviour

I never wrote or said anyting about this, but somehow I feel, how hard it is, I have to write something about it.
He is younger then I am, yes, I dont care, but he acts like he is 54 years old or some.. Serious, I noticed it when I came back from Vancouver, he is changed.. Before, we could go out for a drink, have fun.. but now is like; drinks.. oew no, I dont need drinks, I dont have to become drunk.. DUH.. like you get drunk when you drink 2 beers or some.. tss
He is also soo serious boring about some things, like he analysis everything.. BORING! I really told him loads during our holiday that he has to write a essay about; 1. why other cars lights shine in his car/mirror 2. why its not needed to use every day a clean towel 3. why I dont like to eat french bread everyday 4. why there were pitchens shitting on his car rooftop 5. why the first beach we went to not OUR beach is AND OTHER BORING STUFF!
DAMN he acts like a guy from the retirementhome..

6. Guys

During our holiday I asked sometimes info at the bookstore, one of the few French who speak English, well it happened to be a guy..a complete not attractive nerd.. But who gives a shit.. he was nice and I had very nice contact with him.. and that made paul a bit jealous..(argg we dont even date)

Also for some months now he keeps asking me, pointing out guys on the street and in magazins, if I feel attracted to them..
It really makes me tired..

Yep I do look at other guys, duh, thats obvious..but hey were not dating nor a couple..
And that will never happen.
---

What do I look for in a guy?

- AMBITION!
- Independent
- The WILL to succeed/improve
- Worldknown, wide orientated
- Responsible/Social Interests (also in worldmatters like environment, world probs, poverty etc)
- Adventurous/risky from time to time
- Kind/happy/friendly/understandable
- Motivator
- NON -Family guy... (so no desperate needs to settle down, a fam, baby, house etc blah)
- Emotional independent (no mentally instable dude or a massive history of visits to dr. phil's)
- Equal base with me: emotional/intellectual (example shared interests, educational level etc)

So is this too much asked?

---

Ok enough about this for now. I do know, I love him like my bro, but thats it, somehow I know, always knew, we will not end up together, and do I mourn about this...NO NO NO BIG NO! actually I feel relieved.

Next year I want to travel on my own or organized with a group..
Marian, Vera, Silke even Seline have done that, and totally loved it.
Also my time in Canada, alone, was the best thing I have ever done.

I feel, that my life is finally back on track again for some time, and I want to live it like used to do it! And yep I will leave this country.. maybe already in 2010, if I accept the greencard.

--

So this was my big annual after holiday "EMO UPDATE".

ThanX

Take Care

LT out x

Viva Le Soleil?

2009-08-12T17:14:25Z

Salute,

After my exams I was ready to go to France, by car, with no reservations made, find a camping on the west side coast.
I was still tired of the exams and lyme disease, but off we go.

We arrived late at the island we wanted to go to, Ill d'olereon... and it was unti late in that evening, with the moon coming up already, we found a camping.
The weather was nice, and we decided to set up only 1 tent, just because we were late, and didnt knew if we wanted to stay longer.

After 2 days at the beach, wich was lovely, the white! sand, warm seawater and lots of sun!
We decided to go to another camping, who was really cheap, and set up the entire tent.

Finally at that camping, settle in, the soleil was starting to hide behind the clouds, and DAYS! of rain followed!!!!
ARGGYEU@*T@

Thats what we thought of it, and after 6 days we decided to go back to bloody boring, the same-like weather..

So now Im back..

The thing this, sounds maybe stupid, but being in the army, I have camped out a lot recently, so I wasnt really that shattered when I turned back home.

The youth-holiday organisation, (yep the once I worked with before, and supposed to go to Sweden this summer) called, If I wanted to work for them nxt week, so maybe I will do it.. I will think about it tomorrow, before I make a decision.

I asked Paul do send me some pics, but somehow it doesnt work yet..so I have to wait for all! 6 summerholiday pix! lol
Well I made others, 1: my morning look after shower.. not very charming, but at least you see me for once with long hair..(and how light my hair turns in the sun) 2. My army-hairstyle

I rarely let my hair just hanging, because It annoyes me, but I do know, it looks better on me (when I style it ofcourse...haha)

Hope you all had a better holiday then I had!

xxXxx

LT out

Army Hairlook Out of shower 1*YIKES*

Out of shower 2

Holiday Time Summer Time!

2009-08-02T11:12:26Z

Salute,

I 've PASSED!

It was kinda exhausting, nervewrecking, but I passed. Every test, almost to the max!
Also I heard from the company officer, that he is positive about me getting a position in medicalschool.. But I dont know anything about this. Im affraid in the end It will not be approved. If not, I will quit.

So the exam contained stuff like:
- Field Medical (first aid to a guy with an open under arm fracture, and a woman who was unconscious)
- Close Fire Combat (and I didnt shoot any cilivian!)
- March of 10km with 10kg within 2hours (I came in at 1.09hour, and no I wasnt the last one)
- Theory of Nuclear War, War Studies; Rules of Engagement and Rules of Conflicts, Tactics, Mapping
- Run 2.4km <12min and I did 62 push ups in 1 min and lame 41 sit ups in 1 min.. but I passed at 91%
- Practical case scenario of Nuclear War
- Drill

So yep everything went well. Alltough there are some strugglings in our platoon at the moment, like people getting mobbed and others sneak away in the night, some have drinking disorders and some have mental disorders, but afterall, Im still enjoying myself.

Last week I bought some dresses and other girly stuff, because this night we will drive to the west coast of France, for our holiday.

26th of august I will be back at base for phase 2 of the training... the joint phase, wich will take only 5 weeks..but then;
1. GPO, the real deal training of the infantry: 8 weeks of hell and terror
OR OR OR, LETS HOPE:
2. MEDschool! 8 months of real worthy training...

Thanks for all your support!
Enjoy your summer/winter/fall/spring..whatever!

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Slam Dunk!

2009-07-19T11:29:29Z

...Everywhere we go
People wanna know,
Where we're from,

We're from Belgium,
Pretty pretty Belgium...

Salute,

Last week I had field-simulation training "step 2". With being sick, I can tell, I Freaking MADE IT!
Serious, totally hit it, as the ONLY girl!

I got a very good evaluation, and max scores on personal character-determination!
Yep that feels good tho!

So what was the material like?

> Day 1;
Building the campsite, setting up and determine perimeters, camo yourself and camp,
SPOILER; some in our platoon had smuggled ciggy's! And ofcourse they were caught, so we had to run, keep on running, with weapon and a freaking heat... just as long all ciggy's were smoked!!! You can imagine how long that run took!!!!
But I made it, the other two girls were.. hmm, very far behind...walking, moaning.

Night Exercise: Walking South
We got dropped in the middle of the forrest, one by one, yep INDIVIDUAL, with a compass and NO map nor light. Our orders were, get back to basecamp, without being seen, basecamp is direction south...
Serious cool exercise! Scary? NO! It was freaking awesome. On my way I saw some of my platoonmates, but the 'guards' were everywhere, so you couldnt talk to eachother.
When some of us were laying lined up, before a tank-sandtrackroad, a couple were caught.. but not me, I was laying totally covered in the bush.. (and wondering what was beneath my body, earthworms?? serious I had to keep focus)
While the CO who just caught the others, turned around, showed his back, I got up, running over the track and jumped into some other bush..

I have serious hurt myself a couple of times: 1. I felt in a ditch what was deeper/higher then my bodylength, for some moment I couldnt feel my legs anymore. 2. I felt into some bushes with freaking thorns! They were all in my ass and between my legs.. Serious painfull... My CO wanted to take them out for me.. yea you know what I mean.. 0_o
I still have their prints in my ass!

The last obstacle was when you approached basecamp, security lights, but the thing was, I could crawl beneath the light beams.. so being small can be very handy sometimes..

I came in as 3rd!!! In less then 2.5hours!

And then we got a bit of sleep, with ofcourse nightwatch duty... hmm

> Day 2

My meds didnt kicked in very well, so I was shaking and puking over the terrain. But there was no time of feeling sick. Again they had mindgames for the 3rd freaking time we had to pack in our tents and bagpags, and rebuild our tents, packing in our tents, rebuilding our tents..and so on..
Then it was time for some tactics, in small groups, bush patrol, intervene/shoot when a target appears, but be aware of friendly folks and civilians! It was very awesome, but difficult, I didnt killed any civilian but killed myself, when I gave once a slow reaction and forgot in all panic that my safety was still on..arggg

During this exercise one of my buddies got hurt, under defense when his shoulder got dislocated..so he is out! Poor boy!

In afternoon we had to build shootingposts, guardposts..pretty lame and boring! My ditch was pathetic, It took me over 40 min in the hot sun to digg it, and then freaking hell I spot a huge sharp treetrunk.. so no relaxing shooting ditch for me!

Night exercise: Mapping
Well, this time we got a map and a compass.. and coordinates when you reached the locations.
Sounds fun, yep it is, but not when your buddy, another female (and actually my friend over there), is in pain of blisters on her feet.. She couldnt barely walk, so I had to carry her weapon for over 8km!!!! and thats like 2 x 3.8kg = 7.6kg!
So yep we were one of the last once who clocked in!
And to make it worse, my female buddy couldnt stand on her feet anymore, so I had nightwatch on my own!
Yeah, funny, no no no sleep that night!

Again one down! One of my other buddies dropped, collapsed, and got into a hospital with ambulance, they think hartfailure! I feel very sorry for him, totally like him!

> Day 3 Exams
We got 1hour for packing in our tent (like we hadnt done that before), and fitting our backpacks for a march of 10km in full ops. (backpack weighs about 15kg, excl your weapon, helmet, and gear)
Before our march we got tactics exam, patrol on your own and shooting targets.. ; reaction while under fire/attack.
I got good scores..so yeah! go me!

Mindgame number 1837362, of that 3 days exercise was, that we had to collect all bulletshells.. (you know how big that forrest and terrain were??), also we had to break down and pack in the CO's tents.
After lunch we had to start marching back to the base, about some 10km, in the heat of 27+ degrees C! 15kg on my back, a weapon of 3.8kg, 3 magclips around 1.8kg, and your gear (scoop, goggles etc) and water 1L. And serious that backpack is to big for me, so the straps dont really fit.. so its really a burden.
But I made it! I was freaking proud!
Also the boys and CO's never expected me to make it, because of lyme and my bodylenght. And I got still air, wasnt that really tired.
The girl, with the painfull feet didnt participated and the other one, the moaning one, collapsed during the march.

But its I think also part of th good vibe in the platoon I made it, we song the most ridiculous songs.. And nope never expected that I would sing, Im from Belgium, Pretty pretty belgium..

The nxt day, after a good, but short night, sleep, and a real bed, we had to salute the flag.. That feels so lame, as dutchy, saluting the belgium flag and listen to their anthem. But sofar they have been good to me!

Im off until wednesday.. so 8 days left and phase 1 is over!

Ow one last thing; I got a new TIC-bite! arggggggh

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

ONE bite and that bastard got me!

2009-07-11T17:52:38Z

Salute,

Sick, thats what I am.
My bloodresults came back, I have Lyme Disease (caused by a tic bite, the only one I have ever had!ARGG) . Thats not good! So not Good. Its compareable to MS, multiple scelerosis, but it will not eat you away. But it hits your nerve/mucles system..and that hurts! Makes your body tired, uncontrolable, and if you dont treat it, it will make you paralized and it can even causes death.
Its also a kind of a silent killer, because one hour or one day you feel awesome almost high, and the nxt your paralized..thats soo killing/nervewrecking..

I have stage 2, so Im still standing and keep on going...
Drugs, loads of druggies, my motivation and determination keep me going.
The shadow side is, Im not allowed to shoot, run, march etc.. And thats really fucked up!
Last week I collapsed two times, and with my body shaking like hell (caused by lyme), I almost kicked my CO right in the face.

The other thing I suffer from is a side affect of the anti-biotics they give; oesophagitis. And that hurts like hell as well!
Im on a diete, and am not allowed to eat fruit, fat food, tomato's, peppers etc.. and NO  NO NO alcohol and soda's..argg

Yep they are concerned just like me, but I will not give up, I refused to go home, I have to make it.
So yep everybody is giving me huge credits and respect for that one, and that does make you feel good.

But that doesnt mean I cant laugh anymore!

I had beside all those fucking things a fun week.
I had to report loads, to our CO's for all kind of reasons. Here some highlights;

1. One of my CO's crashes into a loading dock door with the truck, and blames ME!!!
    So I have to report for that!
    I walk into the office of our CO's, and when I have told my side of the TRUE story, they all have to laugh.. leaving the one in question
    redfaced!

2. They cancelled our bar-restriction, so yep everybody was drunk, except me, because im not allowed to drink. My female platoonie/roomie, was soo drunk that she showed her bra to one of our (hot) CO's, so I say, PLEASE.. dont!
While he spots also my pink bra shoulder laces, (because our gym T's are sooo wide, they are men's XL)
The next day he comes to me and says; I prefer pink...
(dont get me wrong here, there is more to this story, why it is funny, but I dont want to write it all down)

3. I got into an argument with one of my platoonmates, and gave him a right yep right on his jaw (Penny can be soo proud at me). Reason; he lifted me up and twirled me on his shoulder, that HURTS! when you have lyme and oesophagitis!
You you how much? Well, I had to go to an hospital at 1 AM!!! And got my second litium injection shot that week right in my ass!
Also they guards, have spotted this and they filed us! They accepted my testimony and dropped charges.
My platoonmate was crying the same evening and was so sorry for it. I accepted his apologies, but not his behaviour caused by booze!

4. I made loads of songs/lyrics. Ok its not nice, because they have to do with a girl in our platoon who we have turned our backs against to. Serious, she causes us trouble! She is too fat to run, smokes so much, so she cant run.. Also she dresses so budnaked trashy, that it even makes the boys puking sick. She listens to teenagehouse like lilly allen, lady gaga-bhabha, and dutch stupid r&b songs..soo freaking annoying. It drives me and my roommate crazy..every morning at 5.30am it starts.. But the main reason is, she whines all the time, she get out of her bed, and it starts, I have pain here, pain there..all the time 24/7.. it drives us nuts! Also she shows no respect for us, she never listens, its always me, me, me..
Even our CO's imitate her.. so that says enough tho!?

Upcomming week, we have again a training simulation of a couple of days. I have to go! No matter what, If I collapse again, I know I will get back on my feet some day. As long as I show them, that I want it, that im strong, I hope they will not give up on me, because im not giving up that easily!

3 weeks left...

Hope you all are good!

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Knocking on heavens door

2009-07-04T18:36:48Z

Salute,

Listening to one of my favo songs; Bob Dylan's Knocking on Heavens Door..

Im not ready to go anyway.. I hope that nobody answers that knock on the door.
Well first Thanks girls for your support!

I feel a bit better..actually I feel great, not during the mornings because thats the time the med's have to kick in, they make me sick..puking sick.
But I dont have much time to be sick (have only 3 weeks left to finish phase 1!!!), tomorrow I have to report again for a very busy and important week.
Im very nervous, because its part 2 of the shootingexams..and I need this certificate sooo much! Then im a fullbird..meaning Im allowed to engage in conflict areas around the globe instead of watching people getting hurt etc. Also this exam contains; shooting is survival, meaning, shooting while under attack. (manipulations in close combat)
With passing these, I get also a new second weapon, a glock pistol 9mm .. like a policegun, small firearms.

I dont know why I talk so lightly about the thing what happened. I almost died 3 years ago also because of an allergie attack, caused by ???
Think its because I dont feel sick, I know my bloodworks shows im sick..but I dont feel it..so dont see it.

Maybe its just a combination of things, the spot (they still dont know what it is/was), the allergie reaction and I think I have chronic HBshortage.

Today, Paul and I set up the tent, it went great. We will crash our asses down in France, West Coast, near Bordeaux probably a tiny Island called Ile D'Olereon. (ive bin there b4)
We never make a reservation, we (he) just drives and I sing along with the music (poor paul), and we crash somewhere we think its nice. This time we have a huge tent with us, so we have to make sure we go to a nice spot otherwise it tooo much to setup / break down the tent.

Tomorrow, before I go back to base, I have a yacht party.. yea I know sounds snobby, but my uncle hits the big fiveO! and we go take a tour with his boat owyea..yacht..
He is btw a very cool guy.. he's the only one I like in the familly. He is a astronomer and archeologist. So yep that makes things interesting for my nerdy side.
And he is very left winged, just like me.

Nxt Saturday, I might go to a survivalparc with my gym-buddies, natalie and penny.. but that depends on my medical condition.

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

Im like a cat without being pussy, how much life's do I have?

2009-07-03T17:29:01Z

Salute,

Ive been send home for 3 days.. reason; I almost died!

I dont want to make a huge story out of it, so here's what is happening/happened;

2 weeks ago, I have a tiny spot on my right upper leg.. I didnt saw it, my roommates told me.
The spot kept growing massive, and was hot..(but it didnt hurts or itch at all)

My CO, orders me to see a doc, I neglect that order and dont go.

Last monday, I go see a doc, because tuesday we will leave for a training simulation.
Also last days I starting to feel sick, and im soo freaking tired and feel nausea

Also I go see a doc because of my right knee.

Diagnose:
- Knee needs indeed surgery (but thats for later)
- He gives me again painkillers
> The spot??? 3 docs visits me, nobody knows, They give me heavy antibiotics and side medication to relief the sideaffects of nausea. (they think, bacterial skin infection or lyme >my blood shows that I might have it)

Tuesday: Training sim day
- 5.45AM I take 4 pills and refuse to take no.5 (because I felt I had enough already) 2 pills I NEED to take for nausea I decide to take 1..
- 6.20AM During breakfast I feel sick, go to washroom, puke.. all over! And see that my pupils are very wide and im shaking all over..
- Around 6.30AM.. Im outside.. shaking on ground, the boys of my platoon lift me up and then everything goes very fast..

I remember that im laughing, cursing and have non sense talk..

I refuse an ambulance transport and a CO drags me into his car and off we go to the hospital.
I get valium right in my ass to stop the shaking and spasms made by my muscles/nerves..

Conclusion:
Im allergic to Domperidonum... I can be lucky that I took 1 of the 2 pills.. If had taken 2, I could be death..burried under a Belgian flag..hmm

The reason Im send home is also: My bloodscreening is not good; HB Low - Bloodcells Low - Oxygen in Blood Low, LIVER BLOODCELLS 2 anomalies..

So not happy at all!

But the thing is, I dont feel that sick.. monday I was running in the heat 7KM.. so whats wrong with me?
The doc thinks its gonna be ok, because the rest of the bloodwork was good, the white cells were very good. My fysical condition is also very good according to him..duhhhhhhhhh I worked my ass off!
No I dont think I have hepatitis, because Im vaccinated for that.

The only positive thing this week was:
I might get a transfer to MEDIC-Department! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! I hope Brussels approves! Then I will not be a stormtrooper but a medic....just what I wanted! (4 of the 5 department votes were positive..only Brussels can block it, and they are the worse.. office pricks who dont know anything about the world outside their tiny world)

Ow and I went to the gym today (because im bored and stubborn)! Was totally awesome, saw my old friends, got squeezed by john and penny, and fed well by natalie.
Tomorrow me and Paul will set up the tent of my parents (because our tent is now "owned" brutally haha, by Pauls parents), Paul and I will go to france in August.

Take Care!

xxXxx

LT out

PRETTY IN PINK?!? I MUST BE SICK!
PINK SWIMSHORT MATCHING FLOP'S